at this moment while im typing, im actually playing dota.
Friends who i thought are close to me suddenly are not.
Friends who i thought i won't like became my friend.

Really disappointed today,
I got ignored by her, and my sis too. surprisingly, probably busy accompanyin her bf.

Looks like i can never remove my blog title,
One Man Dynasty -_-

I am always waitin for u to online this few days,
but almost every 2 days u ignore me once.
i understand u might be in a bad mood,
and i hope to share ur burdens too,
but i guess its impossible.

may is coming to an end,
June is reaching.
June would be a month, i hardly can overcome it.
准备好代价, 不如拿出一点勇气
I had a price to pay for choosing this road,
Even if i summon my courage, it would lead to the same ending.
How i wish, u would be there to support me.

One man dynasty, my destiny.

I may feel a little disappointed now,
But at least i got an answer,
and i know where to head,
which is definitely not that direction.

But what im actually disappointed is,
Some of my friends actually changed so much,
Which i don't really believe it,
and i'm not happy with his attitude.

Haiz, forget it.
U made me really tired,
I can't complain anyway,
I'm the one who's wrong at first.

Right now, i guess I'm feeling really hurt.
I definitely deserved it.
If that year i didnt choose to ignore her,
i guess i wouldn't be hurt by her today.
Now i understand how she feels..

I know any excuses is useless.
The only thing i would say is that,
I didn't dare to accept u, because im not good enough.
I can't overcome my feelings, seems like a phobia stopping me.

Even till now, i guess the same thing is still stopping.
But i know, this time i can bring myself forward, Instead of running away.

坚强他靠在肩上

This sentence, 坚强他靠在肩上
Helped me to school on the last few days that i went.
Surprising or weird right?
This sentence actually came from Jeff wang jian fu's Bing Jian De Fang Xiang.
So to everybody, probably remembering this sentence will help u in ur life.
坚强他靠在肩上

领会

Be it 3 years ago,
Or Secondary two,
I don't care about this 2 anymore.
I feel that i am silly and foolish to keep thinking back about this two things.


For two nights, i felt my motivation is back.
I really hope i can do it this time,
My target > Get a O level cert next year.
I know i definitely can do it if i give my best.

Sometimes,
i just can't overcome my feelings,
to be with you, just like 3 years ago.

Yesterday i was thinking about secondary two again.
I remember every morning we sit together at a corner and we joke about all the things,
TV drama, humans, fishing, whatever craps.
At first i told a friend something like that, "I don't feel at home when i am with them."
I can't remember clearly what i said, but should be something like that.
But actually, thinking back now, Those were my happiest days in secondary school.
They were really good friends, i laughed from the bottom of my heart.
I really wish i can meet them again soon.

Probably Express stream is not for me,
I went back to Express again in secondary three,
And i quitted school, Just like what happened in secondary one.
Sometimes i wonder, what would have happen if i had chosen to stay.

Been tryin hard to keep my cool.
Calm and relax.
But have i been able to do that?
I'm not sure, because i don't know what i am doing.

2007, is what i so-called my Golden Secondary Two year.
I felt satisfied with what i did on my studies, except the final term of school.

I named my blog, thegamethought ?
But i can't figure out my thoughts, my thinkings at all.
All that i have been thinking are meaningless.
Same goes for what i am doing.
What is consider Meaningful and Meaningless?

There are some things that are unchangeable,
Whether its 3 years ago, or now.
Perhaps i tried really hard to overcome my feelings,
But at the end, its the same.
I will run away from it, ignore it.

I guess until i have the courage to say,
I will always lead a miserable meaningless life.
I feel very miserable in the middle,
If everyone can be considerate,
I guess i wouldn't be what i am today..